The Family's Eulogy
Created by David one month ago(EARLY LIFE, TWIN, THE NORTH)
Dulcie Maude Lusher was born on 4 April 1936 on the family farm near Stokesley, North Yorkshire. Her parents, Arthur and Maude Stephenson had married relatively late in life. Dulcie once wrote this of her start in life: “Our mother was allowed to have us at home, even though she was 40 years old, Rhesus negative and expecting twins! Audrey arrived 20 minutes after me and from birth, we did everything together. We both had our tonsils out on the kitchen table when we were five – there was nothing wrong with mine, but the doctor decided he might as well do us both!”
Dulcie and Audrey were proud identical twins, and especially in childhood it was almost impossible to tell them apart. Dulcie delighted in challenging others to play “Guess the twin” in old family photographs, while telling tales of her and Audrey swapping classes at school unbeknownst to the teachers. Despite living 300 miles apart for the past 60 years, Audrey and Dulcie remained close throughout their lives, speaking to each other on the phone every week.
When Dulcie was six the family left the farm to live in Darlington, where she spent the rest of her childhood. They were soon actively involved in the local Methodist church, Elm Ridge: in the Sunday School, the Teenagers group, and the Guide unit attached to the church. (She and Audrey achieved Queen’s Guide Awards in 1953, Coronation Year.)
Dulcie lived in Sussex for most of her life, but never forgot her Yorkshire roots. She may have lost her accent, but at heart she remained a Northerner.
(DAD, MARRIAGE)
Dulcie first met Peter in 1956, when he arrived in Darlington for work and started attending Elm Ridge. She and Peter led the 60-strong Teenagers Group together and quickly built a strong friendship, so much so that when Peter moved to work in Horsham in 1958, Dulcie decided to head South too, taking a job as a secretary at the Methodist Missionary Society in London. The relationship continued to develop, and they married in 1962, initially setting up home in Bell Road, Warnham, before moving to Newlands Road in Horsham in 1966.
Peter and Dulcie were married for almost 62 years and were rarely apart. In all that time they remained entirely devoted to each other, withstanding all the challenges thrown at them by life, including cancer and mental health. Their enduring love is testament to their Christian faith in upholding their wedding vows.
(FAMILY LIFE)
Dulcie became a full-time mum when David was born in 1965 and Anne arrived three years later, supporting her husband and family in all that they were doing. For Peter, this meant his career, his involvement with church and with local charities caring for Horsham’s elderly, and in founding St Catherine’s Hospice. For David and Anne, it included ferrying us to music lessons and rehearsals all over the county as our musical careers ascended from school and district to county orchestras and bands.
We have fond memories of family holidays, particularly farm-stays, exploring a different part of Britain each year. In school holidays, while Peter remained in Horsham working, Dulcie would take Anne and David on the long journey up North to see her parents and sister. Taking two small children all that way on her own, by coach, train or later in her little red Mini, must have been daunting for her, as no doubt it would have involved suffering eight long hours of “Are we nearly there yet?”.
As the children grew up, Dulcie increasingly found time for other pursuits. She returned to work as a secretary, including at Horsham Hospital; and she took an active role in Inner Wheel, serving as President more than once. In more recent years, she enjoyed the Probus Club with Peter, joining many of the organised holidays and outings.
(FAITH, CHURCH, METHODISM)
Dulcie’s commitment to her faith and to Methodism remained central throughout her whole life. She was delighted that her husband, her children and their families all shared in her faith, a faith that has been a great support to us all in our loss. For over 60 years she was an active member of this church, in which time she was involved in the Supper Club, the Young Wives Club (now the Wednesday Club), and Pastoral visiting. She also co-founded the 2nd Horsham (Methodist) Guide Company in the 1970s with Deaconess Sister Janet Marley and Kath Duffin, which is still going strong today.
(CHARACTER, PERSONALITY)
Dulcie had a great love of people. She was warm and exuberant in the company of friends and family, loved a good chat and was interested in everyone she met. She had a real gift for hospitality, frequently inviting friends old and new over for lunch or supper, especially single people, widows, widowers, and anyone a long way from home. She also took in a young lodger, Paul, from Darlington for a couple of years. We have been taken aback by how many people have told us they have never forgotten how Dulcie made them feel welcome when they first arrived in Horsham.
Dulcie was a great cook and we benefited enormously from her skills in the kitchen, particularly after a Cordon Bleu course in patisserie, resulting in an endless supply of gateaux and eclairs. She was so creative, excelling at many different crafts, such as cake decorating, dressmaking and lacemaking. Even recently, she continued to enjoy attending the weekly Crafternoon Club here at church, for the good company as much as the crafts.
(GRANDSONS)
Between 1999 and 2013, Dulcie welcomed six grandsons, of whom she was deeply proud. We will remember her enjoying the many picnics and beach trips, as well as playing games with them. She almost always won at Rummikub and perhaps more surprisingly, given the differences in age and mobility, consistently beat everyone at bowling. The highlight of a visit to Grandma’s was invariably the afternoon tea, all home-made, including her ubiquitous cupcakes – especially the ones with the icing and cherry on top. And we will not forget how she always stood at the window, waving, as we departed.
(CONCLUSION)
Dulcie’s twin sister Audrey passed away in January this year. Dulcie finished her eulogy for her sister by saying: “I mourn her death and feel that part of me has gone, and I will miss her forever.”
Now it is our turn to mourn. The pain of losing Dulcie is intense and we miss her deeply, but we can take heart that she is reunited with her twin sister; and one day we too will be reunited with Dulcie.
Dulcie Maude Lusher was born on 4 April 1936 on the family farm near Stokesley, North Yorkshire. Her parents, Arthur and Maude Stephenson had married relatively late in life. Dulcie once wrote this of her start in life: “Our mother was allowed to have us at home, even though she was 40 years old, Rhesus negative and expecting twins! Audrey arrived 20 minutes after me and from birth, we did everything together. We both had our tonsils out on the kitchen table when we were five – there was nothing wrong with mine, but the doctor decided he might as well do us both!”
Dulcie and Audrey were proud identical twins, and especially in childhood it was almost impossible to tell them apart. Dulcie delighted in challenging others to play “Guess the twin” in old family photographs, while telling tales of her and Audrey swapping classes at school unbeknownst to the teachers. Despite living 300 miles apart for the past 60 years, Audrey and Dulcie remained close throughout their lives, speaking to each other on the phone every week.
When Dulcie was six the family left the farm to live in Darlington, where she spent the rest of her childhood. They were soon actively involved in the local Methodist church, Elm Ridge: in the Sunday School, the Teenagers group, and the Guide unit attached to the church. (She and Audrey achieved Queen’s Guide Awards in 1953, Coronation Year.)
Dulcie lived in Sussex for most of her life, but never forgot her Yorkshire roots. She may have lost her accent, but at heart she remained a Northerner.
(DAD, MARRIAGE)
Dulcie first met Peter in 1956, when he arrived in Darlington for work and started attending Elm Ridge. She and Peter led the 60-strong Teenagers Group together and quickly built a strong friendship, so much so that when Peter moved to work in Horsham in 1958, Dulcie decided to head South too, taking a job as a secretary at the Methodist Missionary Society in London. The relationship continued to develop, and they married in 1962, initially setting up home in Bell Road, Warnham, before moving to Newlands Road in Horsham in 1966.
Peter and Dulcie were married for almost 62 years and were rarely apart. In all that time they remained entirely devoted to each other, withstanding all the challenges thrown at them by life, including cancer and mental health. Their enduring love is testament to their Christian faith in upholding their wedding vows.
(FAMILY LIFE)
Dulcie became a full-time mum when David was born in 1965 and Anne arrived three years later, supporting her husband and family in all that they were doing. For Peter, this meant his career, his involvement with church and with local charities caring for Horsham’s elderly, and in founding St Catherine’s Hospice. For David and Anne, it included ferrying us to music lessons and rehearsals all over the county as our musical careers ascended from school and district to county orchestras and bands.
We have fond memories of family holidays, particularly farm-stays, exploring a different part of Britain each year. In school holidays, while Peter remained in Horsham working, Dulcie would take Anne and David on the long journey up North to see her parents and sister. Taking two small children all that way on her own, by coach, train or later in her little red Mini, must have been daunting for her, as no doubt it would have involved suffering eight long hours of “Are we nearly there yet?”.
As the children grew up, Dulcie increasingly found time for other pursuits. She returned to work as a secretary, including at Horsham Hospital; and she took an active role in Inner Wheel, serving as President more than once. In more recent years, she enjoyed the Probus Club with Peter, joining many of the organised holidays and outings.
(FAITH, CHURCH, METHODISM)
Dulcie’s commitment to her faith and to Methodism remained central throughout her whole life. She was delighted that her husband, her children and their families all shared in her faith, a faith that has been a great support to us all in our loss. For over 60 years she was an active member of this church, in which time she was involved in the Supper Club, the Young Wives Club (now the Wednesday Club), and Pastoral visiting. She also co-founded the 2nd Horsham (Methodist) Guide Company in the 1970s with Deaconess Sister Janet Marley and Kath Duffin, which is still going strong today.
(CHARACTER, PERSONALITY)
Dulcie had a great love of people. She was warm and exuberant in the company of friends and family, loved a good chat and was interested in everyone she met. She had a real gift for hospitality, frequently inviting friends old and new over for lunch or supper, especially single people, widows, widowers, and anyone a long way from home. She also took in a young lodger, Paul, from Darlington for a couple of years. We have been taken aback by how many people have told us they have never forgotten how Dulcie made them feel welcome when they first arrived in Horsham.
Dulcie was a great cook and we benefited enormously from her skills in the kitchen, particularly after a Cordon Bleu course in patisserie, resulting in an endless supply of gateaux and eclairs. She was so creative, excelling at many different crafts, such as cake decorating, dressmaking and lacemaking. Even recently, she continued to enjoy attending the weekly Crafternoon Club here at church, for the good company as much as the crafts.
(GRANDSONS)
Between 1999 and 2013, Dulcie welcomed six grandsons, of whom she was deeply proud. We will remember her enjoying the many picnics and beach trips, as well as playing games with them. She almost always won at Rummikub and perhaps more surprisingly, given the differences in age and mobility, consistently beat everyone at bowling. The highlight of a visit to Grandma’s was invariably the afternoon tea, all home-made, including her ubiquitous cupcakes – especially the ones with the icing and cherry on top. And we will not forget how she always stood at the window, waving, as we departed.
(CONCLUSION)
Dulcie’s twin sister Audrey passed away in January this year. Dulcie finished her eulogy for her sister by saying: “I mourn her death and feel that part of me has gone, and I will miss her forever.”
Now it is our turn to mourn. The pain of losing Dulcie is intense and we miss her deeply, but we can take heart that she is reunited with her twin sister; and one day we too will be reunited with Dulcie.